A Practical Guide to Coping with Grief

Grief is a natural process that can feel enormously painful, overwhelming, and exhausting. Understanding your grieving experience and taking the steps to address your pain and loss are important and integral components of managing your grief. As a member of the SPS family, we are here for you.

Coping with grief depends on many factors, from personal beliefs to one’s current stressors. Grief and loss are very personal, but there are common responses or stages experienced through the grieving process:

• Denial and isolation. This is the initial reaction when confronted with loss. There is a tendency to deny the loss and isolate from others in order to avoid talking about the experience and its effects.

• Anger. Once the shock of the loss has subsided, it is common to feel anger—anger that the loss took place, anger at oneself or others for letting it happen, and anger at the “unfair” world. Anger may be displaced onto others or towards oneself. This can be a very emotional stage.

• Bargaining. This is an attempt to postpone grieving for the loss. 

• Depression. Anger may be replaced by feeling numb and experiencing profound sadness which, in turn, can lead to feelings of depression and a sense of helplessness. This is a typical reaction to grief.

• Acceptance. The grieving person is now ready to accept the reality of what has taken place. The grieving process cannot be resolved until there is acceptance of the loss. Once that happens, one is able to move forward because the loss has been put in its proper context.

Reactions to Grief
Grief can have a powerful range of effects on the body. These can be physical (headaches, insomnia, fatigue), cognitive (confusion, concentration issues), emotional (anger, fear, denial, irritability) and behavioral (avoiding others, emotional outbursts, decreased interest in usual activities).

Getting Support
School personnel should identify friends, family, and colleagues to talk with about the experience of supporting a grieving student or themselves. There may be times, however, when the support of family, friends, and colleagues is not the right match for the concerns at hand, or not sufficient on its own. Consider seeking additional support when guilt, resentment, or personal grief is particularly strong or persistent, or when these or other feelings begin to interfere with personal or work life. In such  situations, it may be best to seek the guidance of a bereavement specialist or mental health provider.

SPS Employee Assistance Program (EAP)
This voluntary, employee-focused intervention program offers assessment, counseling, referrals, and follow-up services to employees who have personal or work-related issues and want assistance to identify solutions. To access the services of GRAND Mental Health, please complete a referral form here, indicating 'SPSEAP' as the reason for referral. GRAND Mental Health shall provide guaranteed complete privacy and protection for EAP client records.

SPS High Needs District Counselors
SPS has three high-needs counselors who primarily work with students, but who are available to provide resources and mental health support when a school site is dealing with grief or loss.  Contact an SPS Counselor